“Tum ho to gata hai dil
Tum nahi to geet kaha
Tum ho to sab hasil
Tum nahi to kya hai yaha
This song was ringing in heart all the time, was so missing her and was so dying to call her but my hand couldn’t press the green button on my phone against he No. She didn’t wanted to talk to me, I called her a hundred times asked what was my mistake, said sorry to her a thousand times without even knowing my mistake, I missed her more than anything in this world but she acted as if she doesn’t even know me and care that she was my best…….
Al l these things ran through my mind all the time when my heart forced me to call her once again but the mind which is assumed to be the greatest thing in this world asked fuck the thing and don’t try to think about her she has hurt you more than any one in this world, but as you know engineers are very bad at tries so this war between mind and heart continued for days and with passing days MIND was getting stronger and real Harsh, my pure heart was loosing.
(10 months back)
It was placement season, and I have decided not to think about girl (any of the four), but Malini was now a best friend and a girlfriend to me, thanks to the social networking chat, I have already got a placement and so does all the Onsters, a term coined by Kansal for our group of 5-Divyam,Choudhary,Jaiswal,Kansal and myself, he was a philosopher and in one of his heated discussions with Choudhary at khokha the term came into existence, and so we decided to go on vacation to Goa in the coming mid-semester break around Holi. The weather at that time was not the best to visit Goa, but since it was Onsters everything had to be fun. Prateek my long time room mate also accompanied us, he was the sweetest guy on the college and for that he got an award of being considered as the brother of all the girls on the campus including Riya whom he secretly liked. Riya was one of those girls who were considered “hot or sexy”, as they say in an engineering college(andho me kana raja types),but yes she was cool, and the best thing was this time me and Choudhary couldn’t fight upon this girl as she was already then hooked up with our sweet little Divyam, I don’t know what she saw in him(the weakest boy of college,physically),but yes she was our “Bhabhi Maa” now. Good for Divyam good for me and Choudhary, indifferent for Kansal and bad really bad for Jaiswal, he didn’t liked his best friends to have girlfriends. Anyways the Goa trip started and we all six decided not to discuss about any girl throughout the trip with a little liberal rules for Divyam. We have booked non-AC train for Goa, all thanks to Kansal to save money, and for that he had to listen to million gaalis from all. We hired 3 bikes on the very first day after reaching to our 4-star kind of accommodation booked by Choudhry through his Nanaji who was in Agricultural department. Our first destination was Dauna Paula with six Kingfisher Drought cans, beer and Malya is the only thing you hear and feel in Goa, not restriction to drink on road, drink in the showrooms where u see foreigners coming in there minimum bikinis causing some poke in your pants. The bare white breasts, and not in countable No.’s , you are offered to see there can do anything. The kind of openness you feel in Goa, you would wish to live there your whole life doing even the rare jobs to earn your living. We have hired a scooty, one avenger, and one apache, so it was but obvious for me and Choudhry to fight over riding the Bajaj Avenger, and likewise in the coming days I(we) had the greatest time of my life there, with all the fun including the city bus ride, para-sailing, Kansal going all out after four beers and then disturbing a foreigner in bikini (that was the day, a real fun), Divyam meeting with an accident and unfortunately he being alright and bike gone out, for which we all had to increase our trip expense by Rs. 150, Choudhry as usual going emotional actually over emotional and doing all kind of his stuff, but in this trip unfortunately he was the target, every leg pulling was against him, and Jaiswal in his usualness acting as UNITED NATIONS for all. We enjoyed the Dil Chahta Hai style. Our return was from Mumbai by an AC train, so we also had the chance to see the film stars bungalows
. The next very day of our return was scheduled as ALSTOM recruitment process. Me and Jaiswal had enrolled for the recruitment process, written and GD was not at all a problem for me but the Interview round was a biggie for me, and after a lavishing vacation it was really too tough, but luckily I got through and now I had two jobs, the next very day Jaiswal got Schneider, it was a party time we all Onsters have got 2 jobs except Divyam who didn’t sit for second as he was satisfied and Choudhry whose single job in NTPC of 9.8 lacs package(just IMAGINE 99999…..8888) as good as double, we partied and we partied hard in the coming days, every night was spent in booze and every day was spend with girls, actually it should be the other way round but nevertheless we all had girls till then, Choudhry used to hang out with a fat infamous girl of the college named Anamika, Divyam was with bhabhi maa, Kansal has a whole bunch of girls, not that he was too smart, but he has a car, Jaiswal had no interest in girls, not that he was a gay but he was what he was, so he many a times felt alone and had to fight for his time with Divyam and me, and I used to hang out with my new girlfriend Malini. Malini was really the sweetest girl on this earth you could ever meet, and all the Onsters agreed upon this and that is what mattered to me, she had got a placement in a company that would pay her more than me. Malini was not in the list of college’s sexiest but surely she was sweet. So we had jobs, we had girls, it seemed that our world was perfect, we were on the verge of ending our college lives, which is almost the saddest thing in anyone’s life, so we wanted to live to each moment of the countdown. The only good news from these parting days was that Roma got through off campus in Alstom, and that means I was not alone after college, there was surely someone to care for me after college. It was really a big thing for me, yet Onsters were not with me after college nor Miss Malini, but a real moral from beginning and a real friend whom I loved and shared everything was with for at least starting years of my carrier, and this thing made me happy. There was a unique thing about Roma, we have rarely hanged out together, we have never been together been on a trip, our groups were different but still we both shared a unique equation of friendship and trust. I could not attend the last teaching day of college popularly known as scribbling day as it was on my grandfather’s barsi. And then we had our last semester exams, the fear of exams had been washed away in four years, so exams were just a regular thing for us and any engineering student, we used to booze, hang out as usual.
There were only few days left to part our ways, Malini used to cry everyday and I used to hug her and explain her that it’s a part of life and all those kinds of stuff, not that I was not emotionally attached to her but boys are boys. Our semester ended on the 7th of June, but Onsters have decided to leave college on the 10th to live back all those moments, and to cherish everything we are going to miss in the coming years, to betray time and thinking that it would stop, but time is the most fucking thing in this world, it never stops, it has its own ego which wins over everybody. Malini left on the 7th and that was the first time ever in my life (when I was in my senses) when I cried, and that made me realized that I was really attached to her, Roma was standing there, she was also crying but started to make fun of me, that being a boy I started crying. I wanted to kill her, ahhhhh. Roma left the other day, her father came to take her back, she again cried.
And then came the big day when Onsters were parting, Kansal has already left the campus on the 6th since he had his joining in Maruti Suzuki on 7th. I had put my aviators on that day not to sb how my tears. But Choudhry, Divyam and Jaiswal were crying, Divyam was going with me in my car. We packed our luggage hugged each other and left to girls hostel to hug Bhabhi Maa and her group. Choudhry gave us some photographs as parting gift, and it was a heart in the mouth in throat in eyes for all four of us and also Bhabhi ma. I can not forget the warmth of the hug with Choudhry and Jaiswal, that warmth would remain with me for the rest of my life, then quietly and crying WE LEFT.